Let’s talk about sex

So here it is – sex is important. 

You love it, I love it, and it’s something that we are going to keep doing as healthy responsible adults. Note that I use the word healthy; cause the unspoken truth is that if you are healthy, you are going to be having more sex. Now, while it would be really easy to say that this is simply to do with aesthetics, that would be an injustice to what I believe is one of the best indicators of a healthy life.

It’s more than just sex. It’s an expression of wellness!

I get laughed at by my clients when I tell them that my goal for their wellbeing is that they wake up and can tick off my three H’s.

“Are you Happy, Hungry, and Horny?” 

If you answer yes to all three, then the chances are that you are in pretty good shape holistically. 

The reason that I put sex drive last, is that if the first two are out of whack, then chances are we already know why your libido is lowered. Sex drive is regulated by hormone production, and psychological desire, and it’s here that we start our journey. Sexual desire is field by a mix of hormones such as testosterone, estrogen, dopamine and cortisol. The androgen hormones such as testosterone and estrogen are a no brainier, but what you might not be aware of is that your sexual desire is linked directly to how happy you are.

Happy –

Dopamine and serotonin are produced in the body during times of pleasure, happiness and calm – key example being the wave of euphoria that comes after a hard workout. It is during these times that the stress hormone cortisol is being actively  lowered within your endocrine system. As such, your sex drive will ebb and flow depending on your personal stress levels. Sex is often seen as a release for many people, but the truth is that this is more of a psychological release than a physical one. If you continue to hold on to stress, or engage in activities which promote a stressful environment, then you are actively lowering your sexual desires. However, not all of us have the luxury of packing in our sources of stress and fleeing our worldly woes to a join a tantric enclave with Sting. So, what I recommend is to engage in some form of exercise 3-5 times per week to help boost bodily production of dopamine and serotonin. This will help you deal with your stress better, and help to bolster your sex drive.

Hungry – 

What could food have to do with your sex life when it’s outside of the bedroom? Well quite a lot actually. 

The truth is that your energy levels tell your body whether you are or aren’t in the appropriate bodily capacity to propagate the species. Short story long, if you’re not eating enough you will have no desire to make the beast with two backs any time soon. The fact is that not waking up hungry is a sign of a very poor metabolism, and as such your body is trying to minimise its need for calories as much as possible. That means that you won’t have the desire to exercise in or out of the bedroom. I tell people all the time that the aim of the game is to be able to eat as much as you can while staying as lean as you can. So by focusing on creating a metabolism that is as active as possible, we are creating a body that is producing hormones optimally, and has the internal desire to mate.
Ultimately what this all boils down to is that regardless of the science behind it, sexual desire is one of the most important aspects of a healthy body and a healthy lifestyle. You are part of a species who’s entire bodily purpose is to share its genes and create new life. So if you are struggling with your sex life, take stock of your real life first. Chances are that the problems you are facing in the bedroom are taking place outside of it.

Chocolate covered strawberries anyone?

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