8/12/14 – What are your wants vs. your needs
Sorry for the lack of post yesterday everyone, but even I need a day off. Any way, today I want to talk about Why do we do the things they do? How is it that one person will sacrifice his own life for another, while another will murder a stranger for sheer pleasure? What causes a perfect baby child to develop down the path of good or evil? What is the force that drives, shapes and develops our feelings, emotions, psyche and ultimately our behaviour?
While each one of us is unique, we also share a central nervous system and a muscular – skeletal system that function in the same way universally across all races, colours and creeds. Something else that we share in common is that there are also six fundamental human needs that everyone has in, and all behaviour is simply an attempt to meet those six needs. Each one of us prioritises our basic needs depending on the reality of our existence and our perception of our reality. I introduced these concepts in last weeks Daily Rebel.
The six human needs –
1. Certainty: assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure
2. Uncertainty/Variety: the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli
3. Significance: feeling unique, important, special or needed
4. Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something
5. Growth: an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding
6. Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others
The drive to fulfil our basic human needs is something that is encoded deeply into the genes every one of us. The means by which people meet these six basic human needs are unlimited and unique to each and every single human on the planet. For example, one of the six human needs is the desire for certainty in an attempt to avoid pain and gain pleasure. Some of us pursue this need by striving to control all aspects of our lives, while others obtain certainty by giving up control and adopting a philosophy of faith and faith is a key aspect for getting out of your comfort zone and getting stronger.
Having the faith to that leap and believe that you can make the extra rep, start your own business or just be the person that you always wanted to be all starts with the choice to take that first step. Sure people will argue that sometimes faith is not enough, and they are right. In some circumstances faith is not enough, but in most cases just having the courage to take that step is enough to take you just that one step further on that journey to claiming what you deserve.
Variety makes us feel alive and engaged with the world around us. Then there’s the desire for significance—a belief that one’s life has meaning and importance. Some individuals will pursue this need by competing with others, or by destroying and tearing down those around them that they see as a encroaching on their ability to develop significance in the world. Others may strive to fulfil this need through connection with other human beings. The way in which seek to discover our own significance depends once again on the choices we make to move forward in a way that is most beneficial to our own personal development. Now this is not always the easiest or most enjoyable of process’ and can be one of the most destructive and gut wrenching of moments of revelation, but the moment you come to terms with your own significance or lack there of, we can truly start developing a sense of significance in our lives leading to a sense of fulfilment.
We all have a need to experience a life of meaning. Fulfilment can only be achieved through a pattern of living in which we focus on two spiritual needs:
1) the need to continuously grow
2) the need to contribute beyond ourselves.
All dysfunctional behaviours arise from the inability to consistently meet these fundamental needs. When our attempts to reach fulfilment fail, we will settle for comfort. Look to replace any negative, and dis-empowering ways of meeting your needs with things that empower and support you and those around you. Understanding these basic needs, and which ones you are trying to meet in any given moment in time, can help you create new patterns that lead to lasting fulfilment and a true sense of significance in your life.
Here is todays workout in which I took what was a huge step out in faith and took 150kg in the back squat for a triple. It was one of the hardest things that I have ever done in the gym and took a real leap of faith on no other grounds than if I had just stopped at two reps, I would have regretted it.
– work up to a 3RM
– 3×3 @80% of 3RM
– 4 x 8 + 1 strip set
– 5 x max reps
– 4 x 8 reps
The last of the human needs is contribution, the need to give back and develop that which is around you. They say that the mark of a man is the impression that he leaves behind, but I want to make something perfectly clear to you. Corporations will liquidate, bank accounts will empty and empires will fall, but the impact that you have on the lives of those around you will live on in the stories and memories of those individuals long after you are gone.
So get out there and take that leap of faith. Go and try that which you have been to afraid to try. Live the life that you deserve for no other reason than it is your for the taking, so long as you believe that it can be yours. Remember that in letting your own light shine that you are consciously giving people permission to do so.
To find out how you can get strong and realise your inner athlete just click the link below.